The Flickering Light
by wannaBbritish
Summary: UPDATED! rated for language...Rukia has questions that only Ichigo can answer and he the same, but will they admit confusion or live in silence?
1. A Touching Moment

Disclaimer: KUBO TITE RULES! I don't own.

Notes:: This is my first fic so I hope everyone's in proper character and all. Please review and let me know what you think...if I get good reviews I may make this a multi-chapter thing...right now I'm not sure cause I don't know how well I'm writing them so lemme know.

Rukia hugged her legs closer to her chest as she sat in the dark confines of Ichigo's closet, her book opened wide before her. This was how she spent her time at night. While Ichigo was doing homework and bathing she was studying in the warm pajamas she had borrowed from his little sister, Yuzu. They were comfortable, as ugly as yellow was on her, and she even kinda liked wearing them. They were soft. Kon's short breaths were snoozing away next to her, as he often did, unable to stay awake as long as she did. Rukia was always last to bed and first to rise as a habit. She couldn't help it, she had to assure the safety of those around her and double check the area for threats before sleep. She'd be doing that later on in the night though, when Ichigo first drifted off to dreamland. Now she was caught up in the gentle sounds Kon was making. If it hadn't been for Ichigo she never would've saved that little spirit. It was against the rules and she wasn't used to breaking the rules, but Ichigo..he had seemed so adament, so hurt by the idea of them killing this person who had stolen his body. She couldn't shatter him like that when he was actually showing a rare moment of concern. He wouldn't have pushed more than his position allowed, but he would've thought about it a lot afterwards. He would've been kicking himself for letting him die, the way he often did his mother. She put a hand on the stuffed lion's head and let a small smile cross her lips.  
"Rukia? You still up?" It was a soft question that had come from a distance. He was checking to see if he was about to be too loud coming in or not, the same way he did every night. She turned and peeped out the crack she'd left in the closet doorway so he'd see her shake her head.  
"No, I'm studying," she answered simply. Her eyes wandered over his still damp chest, revealed only partially by his open pajama shirt. His blond hair was still drenched, as always, despite Yuzu's constant warnings that he was going to catch cold doing that. Rukia really couldn't see this boy of all people getting sick. It just wasn't part of his personality to be weak in any way.  
"Yeah, I figured you were," he said quietly as he closed his bedroom door. "You never sleep," he added a little softer. She felt a pang inside her stomach that she didn't understand. Was she hurt by his comment? Why did he say it so much softer? She must have had that quizzical look on her face because he raised an eyebrow at her.  
"I do...just less than you do," she said simply and turned back to her work. All that was left of her in his view was the slight curve of her back and the semi-damp ebony locks of hair that were draped down her shoulders. He buttoned up his pajama top and turned to face his room. It had been a very long day, as they all seemed to be anymore, but he wasn't irritable. Just tired. He hoped she could tell the difference. He might be an ass but he didn't want to unintentionally hurt anyone's feelings. That was when he remembered Kon and his eyes roamed the room looking for him.  
"Kon in there with you?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder. She nodded as though he could see her and then added aloud:  
"Yes, he's already asleep." He nodded in response. Weird how they could have this silent conversations and not question the motive behind it. He sat down on his bed and did a quick review over his day, just to assure he didn't forget anything he'd have to pay for tomorrow, because he at least wanted the time to prepare for paying for it.  
--dad woke him up by kicking him off the bed --Rukia took his books to class for him, which he discovered after searching for them the good part of half an hour --he made a convincing excuse for running out of class the other day and took plenty of notes on Contemporary History --had lunch with the guys, slugged Keigo for a comment that would've offended Rukia if she had completely understood what he meant by it --walked Karin and Yuzu home from class for the first time in a long while --met Rukia in the park for training --made an excuse for Orihime who had thought he passed out in the park and was worried --made it halfway home before being attacked by Rukia's beeper --killed a nothing Hollow, knocking his shoulder out of whack --attacked his father for hurting him, ate dinner, did his homework and showered It had been too long of a day for a bath, he was afraid of falling asleep in the tub and drowning before anyone noticed he was gone. He rubbed his sore shoulder gently as an isolated ache went through it. These long days and short nights were killing him slowly. It wasn't that they were any shorter than they used to be because the only difference was his crashing at the end and if he didn't crash he didn't sleep and not sleeping was the worst. Truly it was Rukia's fault and she didn't know. She thought he was sleeping when she snuck out at night, but he had woke up one eventful night and caught her and hadn't slept sound since until she came back through the window. It was that protective part of her, that seriously focused on work part of her, but at the same time it was more than that. She wanted to assure herself that she was safe, that she didn't have to worry and could sleep soundly. With her job he couldn't blame her, but didn't she know he'd protect her?  
"You heading to bed?" she asked tentatively though she never looked back at him. He smirked at her with a knowing on his face. She was tired and she couldn't go to sleep until she'd checked everything out and she couldn't do that until he was asleep. Oh well, he was going to bed early anyway..he wouldn't have to do her a favor.  
"Yeah," he grumbled and kicked off his slippers before sliding under the blankets. He didn't bother to say goodnight or sleep well, he was too tired and she didn't seem to mind one bit. His head hit the pillow but sleep didn't hit him until her final walk to the closet several hours later.  
That morning she was awoke by a loud outcry and an even louder crash, her eyes wide with terror and worry for Ichigo. She sat bolt upright, not thinking, and met with a blunt force. Color shot into her vision overcoming every other sensation of her body for one beautiful moment until the pain at last surged into her eye with every heartbeat of blood. She gasped and grabbed it, attempting vainly to ease the pain. Her eyes darted around the closet, the noise still loudly continuing outside of the closet. Muffled sounds of a brawl and grunts. She looked in front of her and saw the shelf she had hit. She'd forgotten she put that back in for her clothes..one thing was for sure she'd never forget it again. She removed her hand and blinked as came back from the pain. Kon was sitting up with his hands in his mouth staring at her with what had to be fear of some kind. She squinted, still groggy despite her suffering.  
"What's going on?" he whimpered. She made a silent noise herself, more out of being overcome by confusion, as she shifted on the mattress. She motioned for him to be absolutely still before cracking the closet door. There, in a heaping mass on the floor was Ichigo's red hair entangled with a white lab coat. They hadn't heard a thing, being too occupied by their fight.  
"Good god..." she grumbled irritatably as she closed the door back and flopped back onto her pillow. Kon's eyes darted in his head, worried and now completely confused. He crawled on tiny stuffed feet to her head and sat down again.  
"Rukia?" he questioned. She cut her eyes the direction he was sitting but didn't look at him.  
"It's nothing. Just Ichigo's dad waking him up," she said with repeated irritation. She sounded angrier than she was. Sure she was feeling white hot smack-the-shit-out-of-Ichigo right now, but she was also feeling liquid like relief with the knowledge that he was alive and somewhat okay. They canceled each other out. Only Kon, however, was dripping with anger. He was furious at having been woke up so fiercely and at it making Rukia hurt herself. Just wait until he could say something to Ichigo, he'd set these violent family rituals of his to rest or die trying.  
"DAMMIT DAD!" snarled Ichigo before there was a loud crack and a following thud. She heard his dad's pained groan and Ichigo's fast moving feet. "STOP DOING THAT!" added Ichigo fiercely. She could only assume he'd kicked his father out and slammed the door behind him. She barely had time to connect to her own existence in his world again when he jerked the closet door open and spat viciously for her to get up. She glared and attempted to rise and argue but he had already closed the door on her. She bit her lip and closed her eyes tightly in an effort to squelsh the fury he had egnited so unwittingly, but this was going to be a losing battle. At least she thought so until she heard Kon's violently fast reprimanding outside of the closet. He must've dashed out when Ichigo opened the door. She sat up and cracked the door one more time. Ichigo was digging through his drawers for some socks and little lion Kon was standing beside him, shaking his padded fist and yelling angrily. She couldn't help the bitter smile that had found it's way to her face as Ichigo's back gradually became rigider and his head started to shake a little harder from withheld fire and brimstone. Kon preached over everything from waking up to Rukia hurting herself, leaving no stone unturned. Before he could finish however Ichigo had picked him up.  
"If I need a lesson on how to live my life, I'll ask someone else," he said, voice so low that she watched Kon tremble with fear. The look on the new shinigami's face wasn't much better either. He was literally giving off waves of belligerence until he then tossed the stuffed doll across the room and stormed out, slamming the door again. She jumped slightly, even when she expected him to do it. That was Ichigo, brooding, angry, attitudy, deep down good guy. She surrendered to not being able to yell at him for slamming the door in her face and got ready for school. Maybe by second period he would have calmed down, but she wasn't counting on it.  
Later At School.  
The door to the classroom flew open and slammed into the back wall with such a force that half the classroom jumped. Everyone paused, though they knew it had to be one person who had bright red hair...Ichigo stormed into the room, his face twisted and drooping in the typical manner of his sulking.  
"Wow..someone's in a bad mood," muttered Mizuiro under his breath. Keigo and Chad nodded. Orihime however stopped her conversation with Tatsuki and stood as Ichigo came toward her.  
"Good morning Ichigo, how're are you today?" she asked with her voice as sugary as it could manage. Her hair looked extra nice today and her smile was as innocent as usual. Tatsuki crossed her arms and thought, for sure, if anyone could at least chip away at Ichigo's bad mood, it would be Orihime..But Ichigo merely grunted as he went past her. The hurt on Orihime's face wasn't really hurt, more like...misjudgement. While Tatsuki was sitting in shock she simply shrugged and sat back down.  
"What were you saying Tatsuki, I'm sorry," she smiled. Keigo leaned forward to where Ichigo sat in front of him.  
"You idiot! Couldn't you at least have said hi???" he wailed. Mizuiro nodded.  
"I did..." said Ichigo gruffly.  
"No you grunted..that's not the same," corrected Mizuiro. Ichigo ground his teeth to avoid getting more angry than he already was. He had had a bad enough morning, he really did need the pit crew's two cents.  
"IT'S THE SAME TO ME!" he barked. Keigo frowned and glared.  
"Don't you take that tone with me!" he replied with only a hint of being upset. Ichigo growled, his face turn somewhat crimson, and then, out of nowhere, he just turned around to face front. His eyes were focused on space, his arms crossed. "Hey man? Are you okay?" he added concerned.  
"Yeah...s'just not been a good morning," he admitted and shot them a let it be for a while look. Chad put a hand on Keigo's shoulder before he could speak and he agreed to let that subject drop. Instead they switched to Mizuiro's new crush in the eleventh grade. Ichigo finally had a moment to think and that was when he realized that Rukia hadn't greeted him when he came in. He looked around the room, but saw no small shinigami in the room. Why wasn't she here? Why wasn't she sitting in her seat reading as she always was when he came in? Keigo was asking a bunch of stupid questions and really getting into the new topic when Rukia finally walked into class. She had left before Ichigo, but she also had to make a stop by the "clogs and hat guy" for some energy cells her gigai needed.  
"Rukia-dono!" chirped Keigo in mid-sentence, causing Ichigo to finally look up. What met his eyes nearly caused his heart to drop through his stomach. Rukia's left violety eye had been blackened and blue, destroying the elegance of her soft face with a red swollen blimish. He couldn't believe it, someone had hurt her. His fist instantly balled.  
"Oh Rukia..." Mizuiro said gently, his face showing the worry that was racing through Ichigo's mind. Rukia, however, appeared totally clueless as to her newest badge.  
"That's a real zinger you got there," put in Chad with a grin. "Who'd you kill?" he added with a grin. Rukia smiled back, but confusion was still on her face.  
"I didn't kill anyone..." she said weakly. Ichigo stepped toward her and gripped her upper arm harshly, refusing to look her in the face.  
"I need to talk to you," he said gruffly. Rukia tilted her head up to look him in the eyes and her skin prinkled at the dark look on his face. She didn't fight it, much less she didn't have time to say a word before Ichigo had hauled her out into the hall. Keigo, Mizuiro, and Chad were left looking at each other with questions.  
"Well?" demanded Ichigo simply. Rukia jerked her arm free just before it started to really hurt and glared at her semi-partner. He had leaned up against the wall, his arms crossed and his eyes hidden by the top of his head. She was beginning to feel nervous.  
"Well what?" she asked him. He could feel her hostility growing, but he didn't really care.  
"I'm waiting for you to tell me how you got the shiner..." he said quietly.  
"I-- I sat up too fast this morning and hit the shelf," she answered, clearly ashamed. She now was the one who refused to make eye contact with him and he didn't like it. His eyes were burning holes into because he couldn't quite decide if she would lie to him about something. Karin came home once with a shiner because some boys had ganged her after school and lied. Would Rukia do the same? He remained silent as he considered the possiblity. "Is that all?" she asked belligerently. Ichigo's eyes focused on the look of her face.  
"Would you lie to me?" he asked. Rukia was worried now, because he was too worried for comfort.  
"No..." she answered. As the seconds went by Ichigo seemed taller, stronger and she was slowly feeling weaker and smaller. "Would you lie to me?"  
"Of course not!!!" he snarled back, coming out of his stoic pose. She sighed inwardly, but outside she barked in return.  
"Then why do you think I would lie to you?" He stopped and the soft look in his eyes broke her reserve. She saw that look when he looked at Karin and Yuzu, when he was defending a soul...he wanted to protect her.  
"I don't," he said and started back into class. Rukia acted before she thought. She did something she would curse herself for later, but she reached out and grabbed him..she stopped him. And he did stop. At the feeling of her hand on his arm he froze from head to toe, not even a hair daring to move. What was she doing. Rukia herself was motionless. She couldn't believe she had done that. She finally took her hand off of him and withdrew back to herself.  
"Next time just ask what you want to know," she said softly and walked around him back into the classroom. Ichigo didn't move. He stood there for what felt like eternity, thinking about Rukia's action. It was like she hadn't known what to say after she grabbed him, but what she had said had hit him with questions. She had known what he was asking but never answered it. She had asked her own questions that he hadn't answered either. Why? What was going on here? Suddenly his mind was filled with questions.  
"Ichigo?" Her voice was familar but at that current second the only sound he could hear was Rukia's voice. He blinked confused...she had come back? He looked at her and then quickly hit the floor. Miss Kunieda meanwhile looked down at him from where she stood. "You okay?" she asked. Ichigo felt the veins popping in his head again.  
"Fine," he snapped, leaping to his feet and walking into the room. His friends were sitting silently in their desks staring at him as he came in, obviously worried why he didn't come right back in, and Rukia was reading once again. He jerked his eyes away from her as he passed and concentrated on the fact that he was in school and had to study.

N/A:: Ne? What do you think? 


	2. What No One Saw

Disclaimer:: Me own Bleach? I wish... pout 

Note:: I'm glad I got so many good reviews and I apologize for the format of the first chappie, I promise I'll fix it lol. Otherwise this chapter is up and I will make sure that it's much easier. . keep reviewing!!

        Rukia slipped back into her seat without a word, her book closed and sitting lonely on her desk. She didn't know what had just happened there in the hallway. Somehow, something had shifted things between her and Ichigo and it was definately something. Something she couldn't explain and honestly was afraid to. She was afraid that if she even tried to understand it, the result would surely not be one she desired. So she sat there, staring at the far rounded off edge of her desk, thinking and wondering on the brink of worry that something had happened she couldn't stop.

        Ichigo came in a moment later, but it felt like forever. What had he been doing out there? Punching the wall in anger at her no doubt. Again she mentally berated herself with that stone countenance he knew to be her norm. She should never have shown that moment of weakness, never should have reached out for him. It said much more than she had predicted and revealed things to him that she had never shown anyone. She could only pray Ichigo didn't fully understood the implications of her action. Her face turned red as she realized it herself.

        She had reached out for him, to stop him, to ask for his company, friendship...what did that mean? Did she have feelings for Ichigo? No..surely not. Surely she wasn't attracted to this violent boy with a destructive personality that she had just met. Then again, if she did care for him, how would she ever know it? Soul Reapers, females at least, were not frequently permitted the luxury of dating and, long ago, she had forbidden herself completely. It made her weaker to have emotions not centered on the job and the last thing she needed in her line of work was distraction. Defiantly fighting off her invisible feelings, she stuck up her nose. Puh-lease, Ichigo? ...getting to her in such an utterly impossible way? Laughable. In fact, she now refused to even entertain the idea that he could.

        Ms. Kunieda walked into the room happily instructing them to open their texts to page 200 and find a pen and paper. Rukia opened her desk to retrieve the necessary items and found the compartment devoid of any useful objects. She rolled her eyes she turned cautiously to the girl behind her.

        Ichigo refused to look at them, they were already curious as to what had happened in the hall and if Ichigo didn't have answers himself he wasn't about to tell them anything. But--what had happened? He ground his teeth in frustration. She had reached out to him and touched him, in a way that she had done before. Only now it seemed to have an entirely different meaning...at least to him.

        Her tiny hand on his arm had sent chills up his spine and it wasn't because she represented death regularly. But... if it wasn't that, then what was it? He looked over at her, hoping that something about the sight of her would answer his questions, clear his head. He saw her sitting there, motionless and stern. As always she was too focused on something he normally acquainted with unimportant. He kept watching as she turned to the girl behind her and asked her for some paper. That was when she glanced his way and they made eye contact.

        She stared at him, unflinching, probably the same way he was staring at her. He couldn't decide what was going on in her head, but then again he never really knew..and the case for finding out was growing thinner. That was when, through the swollen blue of her left eye, she glared at him and broke contact. He grinned inwardly, his face softening only slightly. Same old Ruia, strong and defiant. Maybe nothing had changed.

        The rest of the class Ichigo paid his shinigami teacher no attention, paid his books no attention, and paid his friends no attention..he was the typical student. Rukia however listened intently and fought bravely to ignore what she had done earlier. It wasn't until later on in the afternoon, during lunch that the group really talked again. Ichigo arrived promptly for lunch, his teriaki in hand and his smug smirk plastered on like usual..only it vanished when he found Rukia already there. The image of her sitting in that group of boys made his blood inexplicably boil and he thoughtlessly charged toward the group. There was Keigo, grinning like a dumbass, Mizuiro talkatively preoccupying her from being unnerved by Keigo's expression, and Chad, stoically sitting to the side munching on his rice. Rukia herself only had a couple small rice cakes and sweet rolls she had managed out of Yuzu's kitchen before leaving the house. Thinking back it had actually been much too close of a call. She'd have to start buying her lunch from the school--as revolting as that was.

        "Rukia, you have the loveliest eyes," swooned Keigo, sweet and sour sauce dripping from the corner of his mouth. Mizuiro frowned and tossed at napkin at him.

        "Wipe your mouth Keigo, you're disgusting," he said. Keigo felt at his mouth while Rukia vailantly attempted zero contact with either boy. Once Keigo found the sauce and wiped it away his nose went into the air.

        "Nah, I don't think it's disgusting. Do you Rukia?" he crooned. Rukia turned pink and shoved a rice cake in her mouth to avoid answering.

        "Why would you ask her a thing like that, of course it's disgusting," Chad replied flatly. Keigo indignantly held his napkin tight near his face.

        "Well some girls find that primal messiness attractive," he protested and inwardly Rukia wondered what kind of girls he was talking about. That was when Ichigo's domineering presence towered over them, his shadow shading Rukia and the look of sheer relief on her face. Keigo looked up at him with disappointment and gestured descretly for Ichigo to go away while Mizuiro smiled briefly, going back to his lunch. Ichigo thought only for a second as to where he would sit, before deciding Keigo was being too friendly with Rukia. He plopped down between them, despite the tight squeeze, and loudly stretched as he opened his lunch and knocked Keigo over. This gave him some more room and told Keigo to back off without Rukia thinking anything of it.

        "So what chu got today?" asked Mizuiro. Keigo pouted as he sat back up and dug into his bag, muttering to himself.

        "Yuzu's fresh from the oven Teriaki Chicken, some sauteed noodles and onions and some rolls," he answered surveying his food. Mizuiro licked his lips.

        "Yum...you always have the best food," he half groaned. Ichigo grinned proudly. It was an absolute fact that Ichigo had the best tasting food in all the school, a fact that made Yuzu's head swell more often than he'd like but also one he was eternally grateful for. He had just picked up his chopsticks, listening to Mizuiro talk about his grandma's cooking when he spotted Rukia eyeballing his chicken. Protectively he turned away from her and shoveled a full bite into his mouth.   
"Are you hungry Miss Rukia?" asked Chad, bringing the attention of the other boys down on her. Ichigo glared at her, defending his food.

        "No..I have lunch...I was just curious as to what this teriaki chicken was...people eat chickens?" she asked naively. Ichigo nearly swallowed his esphogus, his face turning bright purple.

        "Ichigo? Are you okay?" Mizuiro questioned. He waved his arms and glared daggers at Rukia but was incapable of coherent response. He pointed at her and growled through his clogged throat.

        "Oh, I get it. He's upset that Rukia's never had chicken and wants her to have some!" Keigo concluded. Sticking his own chopstick into Ichigo's plate he impaled a chunk of meat and extended it to her. Ichigo began struggling when suddenly Chad's voice spoke up.

        "She might be a vegetarian, don't push it on her." He smiled friendily at her and she nervously grinned back, realizing she had said too much and half worrying over rather Ichigo was dying or not. She watched him as the boys discussed this new thought.

        "Oh I didn't think of that," Keigo said discouragedly and before he could put the meat in his mouth Ichigo snatched it out of his hands. He swallowed hard, no longer was he choking and no longer would he sit by silent while they handed out his food.

        "I am not upset that she's never had chicken, in fact I find it hilarious!! Besides it wouldn't matter if she wasn't a vegetarian! That's mine and no one said you could give it away!" he snarled before throttling Keigo in the side of the head. Mizuiro chuckled and everyone got a good laugh until Ichigo turned back to Rukia, hiw face ripping up with the beginnings of a new emotion. "Seriously, Rukia, you've never had chicken before?" this time he sounded floored, as though this was an utter impossiblity. Rukia scowled at him. She didn't like where this was going.

        "No," she said sternly, insinuating for him not to go wherever he was planning on. He didn't take the clue and instead plunged ahead.

        "That's great! Who has never had chicken? You'd have to be some kinda freak to not know what chicken tastes like! HA, that's great," he laughed out right. Mizuiro giggled along, though quietly. "You've never had chicken, ahhh that's wonderful!" he added.

        "I don't see what's so funny, Ichigo," she growled. Ichigo stopped laughing at the dark look on her face. Ooookay, maybe he should stop while he was ahead. Just to soothe things over he handed her some, his chopsticks stacked taller than Keigo's had been.

        "Here, try it," he said, his face kind now instead of evil with laughter. Rukia gingerly accepted the offering and cautiously took it toward her mouth. The boys, excluding Ichigo who sat waiting, moved in for a closer look to see if she would actually like the flavor. She hesitated, coaching herself, and then shoved it into her mouth. Her eyes lit up instantly and she smiled, bits falling out the corner of her mouth.

        "ish wonduhfuwl," she cooed, chewing difficultly but trying nonetheless. Ichigo smiled genuinely at her. She could be so cute sometimes it wasn't funny and this was definately one of those times. Keigo and Mizuiro shared a high five while Chad simply looked on. Rukia made eye contact with that fool of a boy who insulted her five seconds ago and noticed the most bizarre look on his face. She furrowed her brows, questioning him silently as she chewed, but he jerked his eyes away, shoving some bread in his mouth in a defiant measure to prove he wouldn't answer her unspoken inquiry. No one had noticed a thing, but them. Another inexplicable moment. Rukia's brain went into overdrive.

NA:: WHADDYA THINK??? should there be a sequel? Don't forget to review! .                SweetMiss


	3. A Promise Better Left Unsaid

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach....wAAHHHHHHH!

A/N::sorry so short. I never dreamed in a million years I'd get so many reviews for my little rinky dink story! applaudes Thank you all!! Hope this is what you were looking for! I know this took forever and I apologize. I had some real medical problems with my elderly parents here recently (mom had a stroke and dad missed his back surgery) and couldn't find the motivation to write. Thank you all for reviewing anyway and this chapter is for you. I really couldn't think of anything else to write, but if you all want me to keep going I've got some ideas now. Just let me know rather I should continue or not and I will! . Rukia and Ichigo forever!!!!

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**Chapter 3**

**A Promise Better Left Unsaid**

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_What exactly was that look Ichigo just gave me?_ she thought curiously as her first ever taste of chicken slid down her throat. He was so serious about her not reading him suddenly and she could have swore that he had been smiling at her. Something he never did unless it was sarcastic. This was something totally new...something he wanted to hide. What was up with this?

"Would you like some more Miss Rukia?" Keigo asked interested and pulled her out of her reverie. She was about to answer negatively when Ichigo once again smashed his face in with his fist. Keigo landed backward on his butt and groaned with irritation.

"Ow!"

"I told you not to give out my food!" Ichigo snarled and Rukia grinned. Then that grin turned into a chuckle and before she could stop it, it became a full blow laugh that had everyone looking at her confused, especially the one she was laughing at. He had raised and eyebrow and his eyes were reading volumes of weirdo-insult thoughts. She couldn't help it though. How did he go from being so serious to pounding Keigo? It didn't make sense.

"Are you alright Miss Rukia?" Mizuiro questioned worried.

"Yeah, you're acting kinda creepy," put in Keigo. Ichigo mentally rolled his eyes at the down play of her strange behavior. She wasn't just being creepy she was being weird and that was almost worst. In fact, when he thought about it, he'd never heard her laugh. He'd seen her smile and fake a chuckle but this was genuine. Did he miss something that was this funny? She stopped laughing almost immediately, the red color of a blush staining her cheeks furiously.

"I'm sorry. I-- it was just-- excuse me," she flushed and stood up with her lunch in hand. The dumbfounded boys watched after her as she headed back downstairs to where all the other students typically ate their lunch.

_How could they? _she thought darkly as she slipped into the cool air of the roof stairwell. _Who were they to say my laugh is creepy? I guess that's what I get for laughing..._ Painful anger was welling up inside her. She had not really laughed in a long long time and now that she finally did she was told that it was creepy. Worse, the look on Ichigo's face. She cringed and fought off the hot tears that were burning the rims of her eyes. If she could have her choice right then, she would leave this damn school and that damn Ichigo and go back to the soul society. Common sense slapped her in the face then. If she went back she'd be killed or worse she'd probably have to be dead to go there. Every echo of her own footsteps was beinginning to enrage her more until she finally stopped dead where she stood and permitted a growl of effort to release from her. That didn't do it though. She could still feel the fury boiling inside her.

Looking up into blackness and silence she felt more alone in that instant than she had ever felt in her life. She felt not only unwanted but rejected in the same breath. Her fist balled involunatarily. Why should it matter to her if that boy didn't want her? Why did it have to come down to his not wanting her? Because she didn't want to be a problem for anyone and she didn't want people to be near her against their will. Taking in a deep breath she hoped the emotions would subside.

_Get a hold, Rukia..you can't let this happen. Even once could get you killed, feel lucky that this didn't occur in the mist of a Hollow attack,_ she tried vainly to reason it away, to strengthen herself without words. Nothing was working! Reaching out suddenly she punched the wall to her right without even looking over to see if it was there. In fact she wasn't sure if it would have mattered if it hadn't been there, just so long as she could get the physical reaction. The pain, the hardness of the wall all seemed to dim the pain in her head. It seemed to bring her back to reality a little. She was shinigami, top notch shinigami if you don't mind, and she didn't even belong in this world. In fact she should be rejecting them for the ignorance they had...the damp feeling at the end of her knuckles could have been blood but she didn't bother to look.

Ichigo, however, was completely aware of the velocity of her blow and what it had to have done to her hand. He had followed her, worried that something had been said wrong or somehow she had gotten hurt..he couldn't have her misunderstanding them. His friends had even called him back, said it was a girl thing, but Ichigo knew full and well that Rukia wasn't a girl and she had a lot more to her than someone like Orihime or Tatsuki. And he was right. He watched her growl, watched her fist ball, watched her stand motionless for excruiating seconds on end with the desire to say her name and then this. Something had definately gone wrong.

Her foot tapped impatiently, matching the red shade of aggitation on her face perfectly. Her eye was still swollen, probably worse now, since she had neglected it all day, but at least it wasn't throbbing. It's absence left her with the space to feel blunted aggravation with Ichigo and repulsion toward every other face she saw. Orihime waved and called a goodbye to her and, of course, she couldn't despise Orihime, but she could despise the akward looking girl standing next to her. She hated to feel this way most of the time, but right now, it was what she needed.

Ichigo came down the stairs and took in a deep breath. No detention, no homework, no hollows all day...life was good. The only downfall was that he hadn't really seen Rukia since lunch and assumed that was the way she wanted it. She had probably already headed home too. He sulked his way down the steps. He couldn't explain, couldn't put his finger on what was plaquing him, but something about not having Rukia next to him was...bothersome. His friends had irritated him all day long and the teachers had been especially technical....he growled.

This was such a mess. All of it. What would happen if Rukia went off and vanished on him? How would he know to operate his powers? How would he get out of his body? How would he win his fights? She'd probably get hurt too. Some hollow who'd lost to her would show up and wanna gobble up her soul. He cringed visibly at the idea. He recalled how bloody she had gotten in that fight long ago and how vulnerable she had been. Actually if he hadn't saved her, she would more than likely not be around to be missed. He looked over at the sun setting on his left and the bright pink and oranges that were beginning to grow on the clouds. He was fighting, thinking, what it was he should have said in response to her laughter. Should he have voiced the raw thoughts from his head? Oh yeah, that might have worked..not!

_Gee Rukia, I don't think I've ever heard you laugh like that._ Yuck

_I like it when you laugh Rukia._ No

_I wish I could hear you laugh that like more often, even if it is weird_...whoa, where'd that one come from? He couldn't think like that, what about his reputation?? _C'mon man, what's up with you?_ he thought exasperated.

"Ichigo, are we walking home or not?" Her voice pierced through the cotton that had been blocking his ears at the moment and registered in his head like a gentle bell. She was frustrated sure, but she was talking to him. He turned to look at her, face blank with surprise and effort to process what she'd just said. All he could find, though, was a return of anger and a snippity voice.

"You should really put some ice on that eye," he replied tartly, and started off. Really what he was thinking was much more destructive. Damn that eye! He couldn't even bark at her without feeling guilt pound through him. This was ridiculous. He needed to get ahold of himself.

Rukia watched after him somewhat confused. He hadn't even been rude with her. Only his voice was a little sharp because his eyes certainly had not been in it. They were too busy reading something that resembled tiredness. She slowly started to follow him when he looked back at her with a raised eyebrow. It was comforting, she had to admit that. To know that he expected them to stay the way they were even when they clearly weren't understanding each other. She walked home silent, her head to her chest in thought. It was going to be a long night.

It was much later in the night when she finally started to think properly. She had put a piece of frozen steak to her eye almost as soon as she got home, as per commandment of Ichigo and Kon combined. Truth be, she didn't know they could agree. Afterward she did her homework, took a long bath in Ichigo's place and now she was sitting on the edge of the roof staring out over the block of sleeping houses. She now knew why it mattered to her that they had rejected her presence. Because no matter how much she tried to fight it, she liked this world much more than her own. She appreciated more than any of them the ignorance of being truly alive and protected without knowing a thing about it. Also she could explain the look in Ichigo's eyes based off his behavior when they got back to the house. He was just taken off guard by her action. Really she hadn't given any of them an excuse as to why she was laughing so they had every right to look at her like she was weird.....she sighed and finally she regretted punching the wall. It had obviously cut up her knuckles and bled, just as she thought it had. Thankfully no one had noticed though and she was in the clear for an excuse.

Her deep velvety eyes dancing across rooftop after rooftop. She was in the process of her nightly routine...check out the house, check out the block, and finally check out the pillow on her bed. She was currently stuck in checking out the block. She just didn't feel like laying down yet and besides, her brain wouldn't stop until it had answers anyway. Ichigo and the others, most of the town actually, had all conked out around two hours ago. Only she was the idiot sitting on a rooftop in the chilly night air. She sighed again without worrying over who might hear it. She really did like life here.

Ichigo, meanwhile, was tossing back and forth under his covers. Something wasn't right, his dreams were taking a strange turn and it was like he was missing something...He was fighting a hollow, beating the crap out of it actually, but it just wasn't right. What wasn't there??? His second of hesitation got him killed and he awoke instantly. _God I hate it when that happens,_ he thought as he rubbed his eyes. He sat up in bed and glanced around the shadows of his room. Everything in place, every sound accounted for...but one. He turned to the closet, to assure himself everything was okay and found that it wasn't. _Shit! I should've known that if it took me so long to go to sleep it would take her forever to do her rounds and then fall asleep. She must be out there now_, he considered and laid back down.

An hour later he could tell you how many tiles there were on his ceiling and how many dots there were on the two that covered his bed. This was stupid, where was Rukia? He glanced over at her bed. She was what was missing in his dream and in his room. Rukia, his closet monster, miniature package death, and friend was missing from him and it was killing every cell in his body to know it. He was long past worry. It would not have taken her an hour to check everything out even if she had left just before he woke up. That was the last straw for him, he got out of bed and put on his shoes faster than he had ever remembered doing so.

What if she had found a hollow? What if her bloodied, emptied gigai was laying somewhere in a dark cold corner now? What if he could have saved her? What if she never came back to him? Suddenly he stopped. This line of thought was exactly the same that he had traversed shortly before sleep. He was completely obsessed with having her near him... A revelation at last!! Still, he couldn't let anything hurt her or worse kill her while he lay sleeping. Over his dead body would he just allow such a thing to take place. Lifting the window she came and went through he stepped out onto the steep incline of his father's roof and shivered slightly. It didn't matter though, nothing was going to stop him from finding Rukia.

"Ichigo?" He jerked around and nearly fell off the roof when he saw her sitting a floor above him, her feet dangling and her cheeks rosy with chill. Her eye had even gone down enough that he could see the slight sparkle of her eyes again. What the hell did she think she was doing??

"What the hell do you think you're doing!" he snarled loudly. She stared at him.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing, only not so rudely," she snapped quietly. He blinked, blank from any other thought than joy at the sound of her voice.

"I to look for you," he admitted slowly. He was shocked to find the changing expression on her face. Even from where he stood, far beneath her, he could see the pain and disbelief that his words caused her. "I was afraid you'd bitten off more than you could chew," he added quickly and put his hands on his hips in frustration. She nodded and then looked out over the block again.

"No...I always do this," she explained softly. In the silence her slightest whisper was booming for him, increasing it's volume as if only for him.

"I know but you don't always take this long," he growled and crossed his arms both for warmth and out of indignation. It was actually pretty chilly out here, how long had she been sitting there anyway? "When d'you leave?"

"You knew I left?" she asked with concern in her voice. Uh oh, she didn't want him to know she was checking the area every night before she went to sleep....DUH of course he knew that! She'd waited every single time until he'd gone to sleep. Shit he was getting to be real dense.

"Well, when I woke up and your bed was empty..it was a clue," he said sarcastically. She glared at him before getting to her feet and moving to get down from where she stood. Instinctively he stepped toward her while extending a hand up to help her. She stopped and looked at him through confused eyes that flickered different emotions his way. He smiled at her, warmly and more genuine than he'd ever smiled, hoping it would help her to trust him. And it did, for what he expected. She took his hand, gripping it slightly as she stepped down to the roof below. He grinned, satisfied with her reaction.

Rukia looked at him. Her mind was still racing with questions and the answers she couldn't believe, but mostly it was with the promise in his eyes. He was promising not to let her get hurt, he was promising to be nice, he was promising to be there if she needed him. So many promises...if he'd said them out loud she never would have believed him. But now, in his eyes was so much truth, so many answers to the questions. She wondered if he had questions, if she was giving him answers....no, she couldn't. She couldn't answer anything for him, she wasn't allowed to feel this way.

Her foot touched down heavy with the weight of her body but her other foot couldn't find it's tread and flailed aimlessly. She fell forward and landed hard onto Ichigo's chest prepared for the worst, them both falling from the roof, but he had his footing pretty sturdy and they didn't budge an inch. She blushed furiously and looked up, hoping that he wouldn't interpret this as more than it was, but she found more than she bargained for.

The mere touch of her hand in his hand sent chills down his spine again, but this...this was more than he could handle. His face went red without asking and heart sped up so fast that he was sure she could either hear it or feel it. He held her tight, assuring that neither of them stood the risk of falling and part of him liked it. Part of him strengthened his grip on her and held her closer than necessary. He was liking this...he really was. That was when the damn girl choose to look up at him.

"You okay?" he asked, his tone as normal as he could manage. She nodded vaguely and stood up straight, pushing a strand of ebony hair behind her ear as she continued to blush. A moment of silence went through them unlike any they had ever experienced. "You cold?" he asked and crossed his arms again--pretending to still be cold himself. Again she nodded, wrapping her arms around herself for warmth and looking anywhere but into his eyes. "C'mon, let's get back into bed. It'll be morning in a few hours," he suggested and turned to walk back to the window. She followed him quietly, running over every millisecond of occurence in her mind. She watched him push the window back up and then stepped back for her to go before him. She smiled, despite her will, and came forward.

"Thanks Ichigo," she said softly and flashed that lovely grin at him again. He felt that chill run up him once again.

"What for?" he asked, truly confused. She already had one foot in the window and was sitting on the sill when she stopped and looked back at him.

"For catching me before I could fall," she said simply and crawled back inside. Ichigo smiled to himself and shook his head. He didn't know what had just happened but for once he could say he didn't care, he liked it.

* * *

A/N: sorry it took so long, lemme know what you think though. Any ideas you have on the story will be welcome too. Please, refrain from flaming me for technical details though. Where I live we've only gotten to the third issue and most of my info comes from other fanfics and the internet, therefore I am not capable of knowing all the little details. I do my best though so please be nice. Otherwise..SHOUT OUTS!

Midnight Raven3

NissanNut

Dragonlord04

mauled by squirrels (hehe)

Kiku (glad you like)

doven (mucho thanks)

Antaera (thank you for your long review and all your wonderful compliments, please keep reviewing for me!)

ScreamsOf TheDead (lol thanks a lot and I will keep going if you tell me too! .)

missashlee28 (thank you thank you for you huge review!)

SxStrngSamurai13 (thanks for chattin' with me and showing me some great websites, your awesome)


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